You’re beating yourself up in the gym, and doing the dieting, and tracking your progress, but still you’re not getting to where you want to be. Maybe you’ve even had feelings of guilt and shame start to creep up.
I’m not trying hard enough. What’s wrong with me? Maybe I should just give up.
First and foremost, you’re not alone. With our modern media landscape, from Marvel superheroes to fitness influencers, we are fed a constant stream of imagery that feels uniquely designed to make us hate our bodies.
If that sounds like you, chasing some seemingly unattainable result, and relying on shame or insecurity to motivate you, I’ve got bad some bad news: you’ve fallen into a trap. Because no amount of external transformation will feel like enough if you don’t shift your internal mindset.
The good news? You can shift it.
You can love your body as it is. You can move it, fuel it, challenge it because you respect it, not because you resent it. And maybe that sounds even harder than losing fat or gaining muscle, and in some ways maybe it is. Confidence, like fitness, is a practice. Just like strength training, you get better with consistency.
Here are four simple ways to nudge that mindset in a healthier direction, gently and daily.
Get in touch with your breath
Your breath is always with you, and it’s one of the most powerful tools for calming your nervous system and reconnecting with your body. Before a workout or even just in the morning as you begin your day, take a moment to breathe deeply. Feel your chest expand. Let it be a reminder: you are alive, capable, and worthy—right now.
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Wellness treatments and self-care
Fitness isn’t just about discipline and routine—it’s also about pleasure, rest, and restoration. Book the massage. Schedule the facial. Say yes to the manicure, hug and hold someone, order the most delicious thing on the menu. These are treats and rituals that help you reconnect with your body in a positive, affirming way.
Practice Daily Affirmation
The stories we tell ourselves become the reality we live in. Instead of saying, “I’ll love my body when…”, try completing the sentence “I love my body because…”
Even if you don’t fully believe it, saying it out loud can start to break down that hesitation and insecurity.
I love my body because it carried me through a hard week.
I love my body because it helps me comfort my loved ones
I love my body because it’s how I experience all the good things in life
Grade your performance, not your appearance
Instead of obsessing over the number on the scale or the way your abs look in certain lighting, track your performance. Are you lifting heavier? Are you running faster? You can also ask yourself:
Did I show up today?
Did I push myself?
Did I rest when I needed to?
Did I fuel myself with care?
Those are the metrics that matter. That’s what growth looks like.
Fitness isn’t just about aesthetics. It’s about showing up for yourself, day after day, in a world that often profits off your insecurity. You’re not broken, you’re not behind, and you don’t need to earn your worth—it’s already yours.
One breath, one workout, one kind thought at a time. You can do this.
In The Clique
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